Permission

Posted by on Aug 11, 2014 in Blog | 1 comment

Permission

There’s a way that I keep it locked up tight.

 

It’s mine. And you can have some. Maybe. If I’m feeling generous. If nobody came along to challenge me today. If nothing has thrown me off my center. And if I’m in JUST the right mood.

But that doesn’t happen very often.

 

Don’t get me wrong. I like to share. So it’s not about not giving it to YOU. No… it’s far more personal than that. It’s about me. Not giving it FROM me. Because somewhere along the way, I learned that giving it wasn’t safe.

 

I am sitting in the grass, under a shade tree in Central Philadelphia’s Rittenhouse park. Not far to my right, a man sits under a statue fiercely playing his guitar. Passers by clap lightly as he pauses between songs to tune up. It’s not perfect. But it’s good. And he is giving it away, here in the park for free, without a second thought.

 

And it has me wonder… what does it take for us to give ourselves PERMISSION to be who we are – to shine, and to offer our much needed gifts – to the hungry world?

 

So many of us hold back. We tell half truths. Perform in our zone of excellence, cautiously and consciously avoiding our true “zone of genius.” I wonder, how many people have a story something like mine?

 

You see, I think I was born knowing what I was here on this Earth to say. And somewhere along the line… I forgot.

“Watch out,” they told me. You’d better not be TOO happy. Too excited. Too loud.

You’d better not show up as to sexy. Too knowing. Too eager. Too smart.

 

“You’ll see,” they whispered (sometimes unknowingly) to the child part of me that was born with no fear. Unpleasant things can happen when you want something too much. When you show you’re too talented. When you let it too far out of the bag…

 

And what is IT?

 

What is YOUR it?

 

This week I invite you to consider: what is the it you were born to embody – to be, do, say or stand for, that somewhere along the way may have gotten lost?

 

What is the it that has been kept silent for too long… and is dying to be reclaimed?

Is it your beasty nature? Your excitement? Your voice? Your sex? Your deep inner knowing? Your compassion? Your healing gifts?

Your courage? Your ability to help?

Your dignity?

 

Even if you think you’ve been living a very full and successful life… Even if you’ve already come “out of the closet” long ago… I invite you to check in with your body, heart and soul one more time. Is there something else? Something you haven’t quite been ready to see fully until this moment?

 

If so, the time is ripe to pull back the veil, and smile.

 

This week,

in your movement practice, I invite you to take a chance. Which chance? The one you’ve been wanting to take for weeks. (It’s true, you may not have noticed. Or you did, but you’ve been busy pretending you haven’t because if you did… oh boy, then look out!) If you cycle, maybe it’s a new hill you’ve been wanting to take. In dance, it could look like letting your light shine a little brighter… or opening your mouth and releasing a sound that’s itching to get free. It could be as simple as feeling your hips as you walk… or make love… where they seemed to feel numb before.

 

In life,

I dare you to ask yourself the question “If I weren’t afraid of the repercussions, what would I….” say? Do? Risk? Buy? Ask for? Let myself become? Feel your body as you ask. And when the answer comes, speak it out loud to yourself in the mirror – or speak it to the mundane God who fills the room in which you happen to be sitting at that moment. Speak about it. Don’t censor. Let it roll off your tongue and listen to the sound of your own voice – maybe tentative at first. Then louder, and more confident as you continue. Tell yourself – and God – what it is, and where it’s been all this time. Feel your body as you speak. Notice what sensations arise.

 

And when you’ve had your fill, let the sound of your own voice fade away on the breeze and sit in the silence of the state of potential you just created.

 

Can you tolerate the sensation of electric? Are you willing to leave the door open for just a little while?

 

Standing as permission for YOU, and IT, to thrive…

 

xoxo

LeeAnn

 

One Comment

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