Leveling Up

Posted by on Jul 1, 2014 in Blog | 2 comments

Leveling Up

Do you know the kind of feeling you get when things open up and you can see the bigger picture? That’s what my weekend in Arizona at #InsideEdge was like.

 

The truth is, I could feel it coming. Whether or not we like to admit it, I’m coming to believe we can actually FEEL when we’ve been playing small. Emotionally, it feels like a sense of longing mixed sometimes with a bitterness that gets tweaked when you witness someone else playing a bigger game. Physically it feels tight, like a skin that doesn’t quite fit. It may come with a quick-paced, franticness, as the body-mind darts in several directions, looking for something to provide a sense of expansion and relief.

 

When I decided to go on this trip, I thought I was crazy. I’d been feeling those sensations since the decision to leave my full-time corporate contracting gig last month. Shouldn’t I be buckling down and getting things done? If I want to land a new client by the end of the month… shouldn’t I stay home and do the work?

 

And yet, despite my mind’s best efforts to derail me, I felt a sense of calm simplicity in my body when I imagined myself getting on the plane.

 

So I took the chance… and for a minute, things got worse.

 

Now I should pause here and tell you something about my mind. It’s STRONG WILLED and STUBBORN. Like a naughty child that gets more difficult an hour before bedtime, I can count on my mind to rail against my body’s intuitions most violently just before letting go.

 

It was Saturday night. I was facing the self-imposed choice to REALLY COMMIT to taking the next leap of faith in building my business. Having soaked up two days of intense, inspirational content, I could see the horizon of possibility. It was far more vast than I had imagined. And, it was going to require far more risk, effort and tenacity than I knew yet how to muster in order to create it.

 

I sat poolside in the moonlight listening to my thoughts run in every direction. The chaos in my head continued to amplify as I bounced my attention back and forth. Body… mind… body… mind… body…

 

The funny thing was, at the gut level, I could feel in the distance a calm, centered and clear sensation. How could two such distinct sensations be happening at once?

 

I remembered the words of David Nagel from earlier that day: “You don’t need the money yet. Because you haven’t DECIDED.” The moment before the decision we feel the doubt, fear and worry the loudest. And so, as research, I decided to take a step.

 

I commit to Leveling Up. I commit to quit playing small.

 

What happened next was surprising. Despite my experience with body awareness, the power of the sensations I felt the next morning caught me off guard. My entire body went calm, clear and solid. Different than the anxious, doubtful feelings I’d felt the night before, I sat at lunch with a friend feeling tall and dignified. My breath ran unobstructed through my lungs, in and out again. Everything about me felt smooth. My eyes were relaxed and clear.

 

“So this is what it’s like,” I thought, “to be ready…”

 

What are the ways you’re currently being invited to Level Up in your own life, work or relationships? This week I invite you to take the time to really feel it in your body.

 

With regards to moving beyond playing small, what does your body know right now?

 

In your movement practice this week, use the motion as a place to explore. First, look for ways to find flow. When you’re in the “zone,” lost in the momentum of physical motion that you love, can you feel the expansion that begins to happen? As thought and fear fall away, take a look at yourself in your mind’s eye.

 

Then, ask yourself, “what is THIS version of me built for? What am I ready for right now?” And listen for the answer. So often we are far more audacious – and competent – than we allow ourselves to believe. As you begin to trust your body’s knowing, you may be surprised at what comes.

 

In life,

 

take the time to notice when you feel anxious or tight. Ask yourself “is there a truth I’m afraid to admit to myself about my own potential greatness?”  It’s easy to feel these sensations as fear. Yet fear and excitement can physically manifest in similar ways. Check in with your body – if I were to go in this new and scary direction, would I feel more turned-on? Would it bring a greater sense of being alive?

 

If so, take a step forward and hold on – or not – for the ride!

 

 

With hands in the air,

 

xoxo

 

LeeAnn

 

2 Comments

  1. Thank you for sharing the body feeling of leveling up. I am trying it backwards: doing the body feeling first and then letting that have an effect on the un-leveled issue. This has a more efficient effect than hours of ruminating on an issue.

  2. I am resonating with what I think your message is. Recently, I have discovered that I can create a body feeling, stance, posture for what I want to “play” – personality is a collection of qualities – it is fluid, not solid.

    Theory:
    The Divine in us, the Play God, can be the Director, if we are willing to live in our Divine Identity – the Infinity of who we are, Infinite Beingness.

    We are the Master of who we are, not others, not our past, not our fears. One can get a grasp of this by practicing body feelings, movements, etc. and experiencing what is created by this practice.
    And practice, practice, practice – the ingrained, solidified, inhabitating, finite identity must be eased out. This feels like freedom from past conditioning. I have only just walked through this “door” and am looking forward to many upcoming adventures.

    .

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